Dawn Cooper – Nursing Through Lockdown – My Story
I had just started working at Alice House in January 2020, having left an acute trust.
It was my dream job, looking after patients and their families whose life was limited or coming to an end. To look after people as individuals – taking the time to get to know them and their families. Letting them die with dignity and respect.
The cries will stay with me forever – knowing I couldn’t comfort them the way I was familiar with.
Dawn Cooper
I found out the units were to be split – Covid and Non Covid; I was terrified. With a partner and children at home and my own health not the best, I thought if I caught Covid I would be hospitalised or even die. It was gut wrenching I wanted to support my colleagues in these horrific times but also to keep myself and my family safe.
I was on the non covid side and worked alongside colleagues that I’d hardly worked with before – the team work was fabulous and I was privileged to work with such a team. I still miss night shifts with them!
It was hard, we were super busy. I looked after one patient on the Inpatient Unit who was then transferred to the non covid side; he was my first admission when I first started, a couple of years younger than me. We had a bit of a banter going, building relationships with him and his family. Due to his family needing to shield – he had no visitors in the room. It was so hard, families not being able to be with their loved ones, or seeing them through a window.
Then the day came, the morning he passed away. I had to phone his family to tell them, something I’d not had to do before; families had always been with a patient or been on their way. The cries will stay with me forever – knowing I couldn’t comfort them the way I was familiar with.
That same morning – I felt unwell – I told my seniors and I checked my temp it was 37.8 so was immediately sent home. Later that week I was sent for a covid test – and it came back positive!
Dealing with the positive test and being away from work, especially having experienced the loss of a patient under these circumstances, made me feel extremely lonely. Something that still affects me.
Dawn Cooper with her two sons and partner
Whilst all this was going on at work I had teens at home who were both home schooling. One who was meant to be doing his GCSEs and one very reluctant year 8 who would rather play with his toys than do work! Both myself and partner work (he works permanent nights). We also missed our daughter who lives in a different town and was shielding.
Being a key worker made me feel a mixture of pride, frustration and anger! Seeing people clap for carers was great at the beginning, then seeing the same clappers flouting the rules was hard to watch! There were also days that I felt it was all about the NHS and that our Hospices were the forgotten ones.
I was not prepared for how all these changes would affect me mentally, I had spoken to a member of our Counselling & Support Team prior to the units splitting which I had found extremely helpful. I have since been referred to counselling to talk through my feelings.